A very good friend of mine had this as his status update on Facebook "When a “close friend” becomes an "associate." Albeit a very natural evolution, the process of re-categorizing people in our lives that we were once VERY close to is a chore. We must accept it for what it is.. unfortunately, most relationships have a shelf life". He and I always talk about the lines of communication and how friendships need to be nurtured and etc. So with that being said, you may know already, I'm engaged and VERY happy about it. And to make sure I stay in my happy place about our wedding, I want to make this one important fact VERY clear. Our wedding is about us, not me or him individually. It's about the celebration of our union. With that said, it would be completely ridiculous for people to think that we would have people in our wedding party that don't celebrate us/our union. It would be even more absurd for us to have individuals in our wedding party that chose not to get to know he or I before we got engaged. Unfortunately the means friends that he and I have had for ages that didn't celebrate us will not be in our wedding party, they will be invited; it is their decision as to whether or not they attend. No hard feelings, but as many of you have heard about me, I'm blatantly honest and I making sure I stand behind, next to and in front of my integrity.
GKS
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
My thoughts to a friend
I found this email I sent to a friend and I thought I'd share it with you all:
Typically, I don't engage in idle banter about another person religious beliefs or lack there of. But I can't help but continually think about the many contradictions there are within The Voices. You have been asked not to sing because; in my opinion, you openly embrace who you are. Perhaps the term "openly" is being used to loosely. Never have we disrespected another person views on our sexual orientation by flaunting it in their faces. Yet I've been constantly reminded of how weak our human flesh is whenever I step inside a church. The hypocrisy is at an ultimate high, there are members of those churches, choirs and etc that partake in lifestyles similar to ours. Similar because they engage in the sexual act and thought process as you and I, but are not in relationship with another man. They gallivant throughout the church and at musicals with barrages of women and are said to be "womanizers".
There seems to be levels of homosexuality that are acceptable. Be the stereotypical flamboyant homosexual Choir Director and/or Church Member, gossiping throughout the church, but don't accept your sexuality openly. Christianity promotes the ideology of having alter egos and/or split personalities. There should be a sign at the door that reads "Sinners are welcomed to sing and tithe, but please suppress who you really are until the services have ended (especially male black homosexuals)." Some have been able to suppress their thoughts and actions for a long time from the church by living a double life. Who are they really trying to fool? I don't have to see you at the club on the pole, an adult bookstore, picking up a male prostitute to qualify you as a Homosexual. The only person that can qualify that is GOD and he sees all. I commend you for not arbitrarily trying to fool GOD by leading two lives. I do not need to be judge by another imperfect human being whom hides behind their failed attempts to suppress his/her sins daily. Continue being you and I support you to the end!
Typically, I don't engage in idle banter about another person religious beliefs or lack there of. But I can't help but continually think about the many contradictions there are within The Voices. You have been asked not to sing because; in my opinion, you openly embrace who you are. Perhaps the term "openly" is being used to loosely. Never have we disrespected another person views on our sexual orientation by flaunting it in their faces. Yet I've been constantly reminded of how weak our human flesh is whenever I step inside a church. The hypocrisy is at an ultimate high, there are members of those churches, choirs and etc that partake in lifestyles similar to ours. Similar because they engage in the sexual act and thought process as you and I, but are not in relationship with another man. They gallivant throughout the church and at musicals with barrages of women and are said to be "womanizers".
There seems to be levels of homosexuality that are acceptable. Be the stereotypical flamboyant homosexual Choir Director and/or Church Member, gossiping throughout the church, but don't accept your sexuality openly. Christianity promotes the ideology of having alter egos and/or split personalities. There should be a sign at the door that reads "Sinners are welcomed to sing and tithe, but please suppress who you really are until the services have ended (especially male black homosexuals)." Some have been able to suppress their thoughts and actions for a long time from the church by living a double life. Who are they really trying to fool? I don't have to see you at the club on the pole, an adult bookstore, picking up a male prostitute to qualify you as a Homosexual. The only person that can qualify that is GOD and he sees all. I commend you for not arbitrarily trying to fool GOD by leading two lives. I do not need to be judge by another imperfect human being whom hides behind their failed attempts to suppress his/her sins daily. Continue being you and I support you to the end!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
I am so not who you want me to be......
Today started off very well! Got to work late, but nonetheless I was on my "A" game. It was all about wrapping shit up and getting people out of my face. Sometimes you just gotta do it to keep your sanity. The only hiccup I had today was my subtle reminder that I am not a 21 year old white women from the valley! You can't expect for me to say "like" and "umm" 1000 times in the sentence. I am a 32 year old educated African/Haitian male who happens to be homosexual. Perhaps my sexual preference could be why some people think that I should have the capabilities of transforming my personality. NEWFLASH, it's not going to happen. Once I was able to get that off my chest the day resumed with sunshine and great theme music (I was listening to my IPOD).
Here are a few random thoughts of the day:
1. Parents, please make sure your children are given the proper examples on how they need to conduct themselves in public when not being supervised. I absolutely hate having to scold your child from using an endless amount of profanity in my presence or listening to music on their speakerphone. Just because I'm awake and commuting doesn't mean I'm ready to wake up!
2. I love diversity and I welcome a good debate. But just because you were hip in the 70's as an adult, does not mean you are hip in this day and age as a senior citizen. I am a lover of house music, please do not tell me that Daft Punk is considered house music and send me 12 links to prove you point. It's fucking techno ALL day long.
3. To my homeless men and women, it's not funny when you ask me for money so that you can buy a bottle of Vodka. I just don't see the humor in that. Hell I'm gonna save my change and get my own damn bottle.
4. If you know me well, you know I am a planner. I always like to have a plan when it comes to my personal life. Yes, my name is Abdul Khaled Gregory Khari Stillwell, and I'm a control freak!!!!!. But if you know that about me and choose to have me coordinate something for you, show me some fucking gratitude and acknowledge my efforts on making whatever I am planning for you a great experience!
That's about all I have for today, as I said there wasn't much to talk about! How was your day?
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Therapuetic
I've learned that my comforts are enjoying my partner, my friends and good friends. Lately, life has been tremendously well. I've decided for my self that I'm going to become more of "doer" than a "sayer". Which will explain the reason you are reading this blog. Just about everyday, when I'm alone, my thoughts rapidly fire out thoughts of the day. I consider it a transference of energy and wasted thought. I've always wanted to share my daily intimate thoughts with all of my friends at once. So here goes nothings.
Today started off rather rocky due to an incident from the previous day. I wasn't in the mood to be bothered with anybody, so luckily for me I had the pleasure of going into the office for 8 hours. So needless to say, my words were few and far between. People noticed it, but honestly I didn't care. I'm not perfect, so I'm not going to pretend that every day is a great day. So let's fast forward through the day......dumb shit was said ................flakiness was at an all time high..........laughed a few times are genuinely funny shit no matter how remedial.........ate lunch.........dealt with more dumb shit being said..........thought about giving a dog or two some chocolate because they get on my nerves sometimes...........talked to a friend on the phone.
Now the only thing worth talking about is "talked to a friend on the phone". Just in case you are wondering, there is a great possibility that our conversation may appear in one of these blogs, so don't get all pissed. I will not mention names, I will just speak on the situation. Since this is a blog, some people may feel inclined to comment on your situation, so if you get all defensive with your response YOU run the risk of "outting" yourself. Now back to the regularly scheduled program.
This particular friend called me and decided that "they" wanted to compare their relationship to mine and how theirs is more traditional. This is in no way saying that my partnership with PJ is perfect. HOWEVER, there is no way in hell a couple inviting a 3rd into their bedroom is traditional. Especially considering that you've only been into this "relationship" (and I say that loosely) less than 1 year. If in fact a couple needs to invite 3rds into their bedroom after such a short period of time, to me it means you are already bored with each other and you need to spice up your circumstance. So anyway lets fast forward again..................dumb comments like " people cheat everyday, so why not do it in the open".................................. "it's just sex, our love is deeper than a physical attraction to another person"................. "it keeps our sex life fresh and exciting". Needless to say, I ended that conversation very quickly.
So is it me or is this person delusional? Yes, people cheat everyday, however this sort of behavior in my opinion condones a persons inability to commit. And how about you're not in love with this person. You are enamored by the mere fact that you can have stability financially and have multiple sexual partners. My thoughts are not a surprise to this person as "they" are reading it just as you are. The comfortability this person has with not having to be responsible has hyped "them" up about the possibility of getting married. The only things I hear this person saying is "the ass is good," "I don't want for anything" and "the endless supply of weed is crazy". That's pathetic and I wish "they" would wake up from "their" sarcophagus of stupidity. I didn't even feel the need to go into the vast difference of my love from PJ and how our relationship is more traditional because it would have fell on deaf ears.
This has been running through my head all damn day. How can a person really have such strong opinions about things that go against the natural grain of the basics of love? I mean after a long work out at the gym, I digressed from it. I mean am I wrong, you tell me or not?
Today started off rather rocky due to an incident from the previous day. I wasn't in the mood to be bothered with anybody, so luckily for me I had the pleasure of going into the office for 8 hours. So needless to say, my words were few and far between. People noticed it, but honestly I didn't care. I'm not perfect, so I'm not going to pretend that every day is a great day. So let's fast forward through the day......dumb shit was said ................flakiness was at an all time high..........laughed a few times are genuinely funny shit no matter how remedial.........ate lunch.........dealt with more dumb shit being said..........thought about giving a dog or two some chocolate because they get on my nerves sometimes...........talked to a friend on the phone.
Now the only thing worth talking about is "talked to a friend on the phone". Just in case you are wondering, there is a great possibility that our conversation may appear in one of these blogs, so don't get all pissed. I will not mention names, I will just speak on the situation. Since this is a blog, some people may feel inclined to comment on your situation, so if you get all defensive with your response YOU run the risk of "outting" yourself. Now back to the regularly scheduled program.
This particular friend called me and decided that "they" wanted to compare their relationship to mine and how theirs is more traditional. This is in no way saying that my partnership with PJ is perfect. HOWEVER, there is no way in hell a couple inviting a 3rd into their bedroom is traditional. Especially considering that you've only been into this "relationship" (and I say that loosely) less than 1 year. If in fact a couple needs to invite 3rds into their bedroom after such a short period of time, to me it means you are already bored with each other and you need to spice up your circumstance. So anyway lets fast forward again..................dumb comments like " people cheat everyday, so why not do it in the open".................................. "it's just sex, our love is deeper than a physical attraction to another person"................. "it keeps our sex life fresh and exciting". Needless to say, I ended that conversation very quickly.
So is it me or is this person delusional? Yes, people cheat everyday, however this sort of behavior in my opinion condones a persons inability to commit. And how about you're not in love with this person. You are enamored by the mere fact that you can have stability financially and have multiple sexual partners. My thoughts are not a surprise to this person as "they" are reading it just as you are. The comfortability this person has with not having to be responsible has hyped "them" up about the possibility of getting married. The only things I hear this person saying is "the ass is good," "I don't want for anything" and "the endless supply of weed is crazy". That's pathetic and I wish "they" would wake up from "their" sarcophagus of stupidity. I didn't even feel the need to go into the vast difference of my love from PJ and how our relationship is more traditional because it would have fell on deaf ears.
This has been running through my head all damn day. How can a person really have such strong opinions about things that go against the natural grain of the basics of love? I mean after a long work out at the gym, I digressed from it. I mean am I wrong, you tell me or not?
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